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[naodrith]

naodrith's LJ stalker is nothingbutfic!

nothingbutfic is stalking you because another friend of yours told them you liked them. They are also slowly poisoning you!

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So that's why I've been so sick lately! It all makes sense!

ETA: Er, yes. Lyra, at least, quite liked the last one of these I did, so, without further ado...spoiler warning for TSPB, the Trilogy, and possibly other things though I can't imagine what...

ZAC: I'm blond and weird in the morning and I wear glasses.
JOSEPH: I love thwarting the church.
ZAC: Move to Alaska with me.
JOSEPH: In a heartbeat, dear.

SETH: I am...myself.
JUSTINIA: You are not who I thought you were, then! Angst, woe, I'm breaking up with you!
SETH: I shall have sex with a prostitute to console myself.
JUSTINIA: In that case, marry me.
SETH: Um.

WESLEIGH: I am distraught.
DEAD KING: (examines nails) Yeah?
WESLEIGH: There is an invasion force coming and I have no army.
DEAD KING: Have one of mine.
WESLEIGH: Hurrah! Now I am truly l33+!
DEAD KING: (to random passerby) Do you think I'm crazy?

JOSEPH: I hate you I hate you I hate you! (punch)
ZAC: You don't loooove meeee... (pinches) Everyone else loves me!
JOSEPH: You don't pinch, you bloody girl!

NAE: Pyrae, darling, I worship the ground that you walk on.
PYRAE: That's weird. (preens)

NICK: Cool! I'm going to be invisible!
LAISA: No. You're going to die.
NICK: ...well, that's not cool.

ERION: Do you remember when we were best friends?
JOSEPH: You mean in the alternate reality? Yeah, that was weird.
ERION: (wistfully) I was supposed to be part of a composite, but do you see any of me in that Roger dude?
JOSEPH: Honestly, no.
ERION: I hate Naodrith.
JOSEPH: Shh! She might hear you!

MARISA: I have no personality.
YANIE: Me neither.
RASHA: That is sad. As I am your goddess, it's probably my fault.
MARISA: No, it's the writer's fault.
NAE: Oh, be quiet.

ZAC: Hey, Las, make out with me in a random alley.
LASA: I'm not that drunk.
....
LASA: Okay, I am that drunk.
ZAC: It means nothing to me. Just so you know. I am emotionless and distant.
LASA: Sure, we all believe you.

DRACO: I'M GOING TO KILL RON.
RON: NOT IF I KILL YOU FIRST, BASTARD.
HARRY: Well, what did he do?
RON: He claimed the bed by the window.

TYRIEL: This is my Unholy Master, Lucifer.
LUCIFER: (fretting) Does my hair look creepy enough?
EMILY: Are you sure he's really Lucifer?
TYRIEL: Unfortunately, yes.

WESLEIGH: Master, they've burnt the Holy City!
DEAD KING: Hey, Hadra Corroch and Holy City have the same initials! Do you think that was intentional?
WESLEIGH: But...it's...
DEAD KING: Here, have an earring.

NAE: Klondike bars are hard to eat.
ZAC: Have me eat one in the story.
JOSEPH: Have me eat a chocolate-caramel Easter egg!
NAE: Shut up, trying to eat here!