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You know, I would be a lot happier right now if a lot of things hadn't happened.
I got one hour of sleep last night. I'm now absolutely convinced that I have insomnia and need sedatives. My mother thinks that I'm a lunatic. Here is how our conversations tend to go: "I need sleeping pills." "No, they're bad for you." "As bad as sleep deprivation?" "Haha, you're so funny, go to school." I have never said this in real life, but I would like to: "SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME FUCKING MEDS."
Around two AM I got a headache. This was worse than the headache I had a few days ago. In the process of whimpering and rolling around and trying to avoid killing someone, I lost one of my blankets and both of my socks. Go figure. I was also breathing funny. Sometimes I would forget how to breathe - I would exhale and then not take another breath for just long enough to make me panic and gasp desperately. And the gasping desperately happened without not-breathing, too. It was like the air in the bedroom had suddenly become thinner, or something, because I couldn't get enough.
At four, Dad woke up and heard me sobbing and got me some aspirin, which helped. Time dragged on, and I last remember looking at the clock around five, but I'm sure I was up longer than that.
Due to the last remnants of the headache (which is getting worse every moment I spend in this godforsaken school - GIVE ME MEDS, JACKHOLES!) I decided not to cope with contacts. It appears that my vision has once again worsened, because my glasses, which I just got last year, are already blurring. I have been walking through the day in a fog, trying not to fall down stairs due to my lack of depth perception.
I absolutely prohibited my friends from celebrating my birthday. They conspired, and have decided to celebrate April 6 instead. Even our principal decided to go with it. Whatever. They gave me tea. Some of this tea is chamomile. Bliss. Of course, it would help if I could DRINK the tea right now. Whatever. It's funny, how I can forbid them from things and they do them anyway and I just let it go.
I find it entertaining that this morning, when I begged my mother to take me to someone who can give me sedatives, she said "People who take sedatives often commit suicide." Sure. Whatever. Every night I get less sleep than I should, that is, every night, I get closer to throwing myself off a building. Hitting the ground with terminal velocity CANNOT be as bad as this. (That was a sadistic and sarcastic joke. Don't worry about me. I'm fine.)
In conclusion: owowow. My only solace is that people are, in fact, writing NUMB3RS slash. Yayz.
I got one hour of sleep last night. I'm now absolutely convinced that I have insomnia and need sedatives. My mother thinks that I'm a lunatic. Here is how our conversations tend to go: "I need sleeping pills." "No, they're bad for you." "As bad as sleep deprivation?" "Haha, you're so funny, go to school." I have never said this in real life, but I would like to: "SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME FUCKING MEDS."
Around two AM I got a headache. This was worse than the headache I had a few days ago. In the process of whimpering and rolling around and trying to avoid killing someone, I lost one of my blankets and both of my socks. Go figure. I was also breathing funny. Sometimes I would forget how to breathe - I would exhale and then not take another breath for just long enough to make me panic and gasp desperately. And the gasping desperately happened without not-breathing, too. It was like the air in the bedroom had suddenly become thinner, or something, because I couldn't get enough.
At four, Dad woke up and heard me sobbing and got me some aspirin, which helped. Time dragged on, and I last remember looking at the clock around five, but I'm sure I was up longer than that.
Due to the last remnants of the headache (which is getting worse every moment I spend in this godforsaken school - GIVE ME MEDS, JACKHOLES!) I decided not to cope with contacts. It appears that my vision has once again worsened, because my glasses, which I just got last year, are already blurring. I have been walking through the day in a fog, trying not to fall down stairs due to my lack of depth perception.
I absolutely prohibited my friends from celebrating my birthday. They conspired, and have decided to celebrate April 6 instead. Even our principal decided to go with it. Whatever. They gave me tea. Some of this tea is chamomile. Bliss. Of course, it would help if I could DRINK the tea right now. Whatever. It's funny, how I can forbid them from things and they do them anyway and I just let it go.
I find it entertaining that this morning, when I begged my mother to take me to someone who can give me sedatives, she said "People who take sedatives often commit suicide." Sure. Whatever. Every night I get less sleep than I should, that is, every night, I get closer to throwing myself off a building. Hitting the ground with terminal velocity CANNOT be as bad as this. (That was a sadistic and sarcastic joke. Don't worry about me. I'm fine.)
In conclusion: owowow. My only solace is that people are, in fact, writing NUMB3RS slash. Yayz.